ONE OF US CANNOT BE WRONG

I lit a thin green candle
To make you jealous of me
But the room just filled up with mosquitoes
They heard that my body was free

Then I took the dust from a long sleepless night
And I put it in your little shoe
And then I confess that I tortured the dress
That you wore for the world to look through

I showed my heart to the doctor
He said I'd just have to quit
Then he wrote himself a prescription
And your name was mentioned in it

Then he locked himself in a library shelf
With the details of our honeymoon
And I hear from the nurse that he's gotten much worse
And his practice is all in a ruin

Yes I heard of a saint who had loved you
So I studied all night in his school
He taught that the duty of lovers
Is to tarnish the golden rule

And just when I was sure that his teachings were pure
He drowned himself in the pool
His body is gone but back here on the lawn
His spirit continues to drool

An Eskimo showed me a movie
He'd recently taken of you
The poor man could hardly stop shivering
His lips and his fingers were blue

I suppose that he froze when the wind took your clothes
And I guess he just never got warm
But you stand there so nice in your blizzard of ice
Oh please, let me come into the storm